Potty humor

I normally don't like chain e-mails, but this one contained some pretty good shit

***
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I'd love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy."

"Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

The moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t help you stay there.

***
A bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird, promptly dug him out and ate him.

The moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend, and when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut.